State of Mind 40


I decided to keep my thoughts to myself but today I will… i don’t know if I will ever write again…

It’s been a year almost since I lost my life support, my job. Why do we work and who do we work for? I worked to survive and to support my family. I worked hard to sustain and live a healthy life. For all those years I’ve struggled for a better tomorrow. My responsibilities started when I was very young… i missed my father in every step I took. I wished for his support and blessings. I shared my thoughts, my worries, my burdens or hardships with him but he is too far to hold my hand or hug me and say everything will be alright.

I believed in trying and not giving up… i may have made mistakes for I’m just a human who was thrown out in the wild way early but I the faith that God loves me was the strongest. It kept me going… no matter how many times I fell I stood again.

Today I’m falling and i don’t intend to try or get up… I’m tired of fighting fate, I’m tired of trying… I spent most of my life trying and now I’m giving up on hope and life itself.

The world is cruel… or the fate… i don’t know…. we keep trying but some people are just failures… I failed. The distance between life and death is nothing but this moment… This moment I’m Alive… next …

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